Gish's Journal

I'm 27 years old and have lived on the streets since I was 6 years old.

Three months ago I moved into Rebeccas Community 'Hospitality House.'

This website chronicles my life journey through foster care, homelessness, drug addiction, prison and my new life off drugs and off the streets.

Return to: homeless.org.au

For as long as I knew I was looking for that thing that was missing from my life, that special something that would make my life feel complete.

I knew the moment that I met him that he was the one. By 'the one,' I mean every streetie I know thinks they are better then every other streetie, they are smarter, they are stronger, they aren't afraid of anyone and they will go to great lengths to prove that there isn't anyone or anything that they cannot overcome.

Jestar was different, by different I mean he didn't act like he had anything to prove and was quite happy to let everyone else make fools of them selves while he kept a low profile and stayed in the background, something I shared with him.

I hated being noticed. It is a pet hate when people take notice of me because to get away with crime you have to be invisible.

When I first met him he hadn't been on the streets for more than a month and he still had quite a bit to learn in that he didn't really know how to take care of himself and needed someone to show him the ropes, that someone happened to be me.

I don't think either us really understood at the time that we were meant to be such good friends or that we would connect as well as we do. I just know that if I hadn't met my bro I probably wouldn't be writing this at moment.

We were happy just hanging out with each other and doing our own thing, he was the brother I never had and always wanted. Me and Jestar were also quite different in a lot of ways, the main one being girls, he found it very easy to get a girlfriend where as I was the shy type.

He just had that something that girls were attracted to and couldn't resist. We both knew this of course without even talking about it but I think my brother understood that I wasn't into casual relationships or sex.

I wanted a lasting thing that had meaning. He just wanted the girl to fall madly in love with him so he could tell me how slack I was and who was in the lead as far as our sex lives were concerned, but that was cool by me.

I understood his needs and because I was better at everything else we did it was important to him to have that one thing he could always beat me at.

I only mention this because it helps explain the kind of rivalry that we shared. I was the one who knew how to take care of our physical needs and he was the one who took care of the emotional side of our lives.

We were pretty much inseparable for the next five years of our lives and I honestly think they were the happiest years of my life.

I know that he feels the same way about me which made moving to Sydney very hard for me, he was half the reason why I moved in the first place.

Over the time me and him were hanging out together we were always talking about getting off the streets and getting our lives on track, but never got around to actually doing anything other then talk about it and dream what it would it be like to lead normal lives and do normal things.

After everything me and him had been threw together it was like a slap in the face when my bro actually did get himself of the streets and get a job and start building a life for him and his girlfriend which is why I had to leave.

I knew that if I stayed I would always be in the back of his mind playing on his thoughts and I know that the friendship we have would have made it very hard for my brother to succeed and keep going.

If it got to tough for him I know he would have just chucked it all in and come back to the streets to hang out with me and I love him to much for that so I left Brisbane… taking away the easy way out so to speak.

If I wasn't around he wouldn't have any reason to worry or any reason not to succeed.


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